Scars, Cacti and Chai Tea
by DepressionRae
Summary: [Human Au] Sebastian is a single parent, a retired bodyguard, and the owner of a garden shop. He's trying to keep himself from breaking after the violent end of a bad relationship that hurt both him and Ciel, but the darkness within keeps spilling out. Unable to let himself be happy, Sebastian is fine on the sidelines with a broken heart, but can a new face save him from the dark?
1. Chapter 1

**Did anyone order a soft (human) Sebastian who owns a plant/garden store and is an ex-bodyguard and is in love with the really sweet baker Agni from across the street? No? Well I wrote this anyway so take it from my feeble hands. Most of this was written very, very late. Like at 1am-ish late. While sick.**

 **Despite that, I hope y'all enjoy this small bit of word vomit. Do let me know what you think, I can always use the feedback. Thank you!**

* * *

Autumn was Sebastian's favorite time of year. Perhaps that was strange, considering he owned a glorified flower shop. Still, even as the chilly breeze threatened death upon the plants set outside his shop, he thoroughly enjoyed the season. He couldn't quite describe his love for autumn. He didn't have the right words. It was just a feeling he would get, standing outside with his jacket on and a scarf wrapped around his neck, crunchy leaves beneath his feet and his thermos of hot tea or coffee in his gloved hands. Every day during October and November, he would walk the few blocks to work just to indulge in that unexplainable feeling. Just to feel the cold set into his hands every time he shifted his mug into the other hand. To hear the crunch of a leaf beneath his shoes. To feel the breeze tousle his already messy hair into a more windswept mess.

Sebastian had never met anyone else who enjoyed this sensation. Not really, anyway. Not as much as he did. He knew Ciel loved to kick up huge swaths of colorful leaves; both of them adored the bright shades of red and golden hues of yellow with just the right amount of surviving green and rotten brown mixed in.

But the young boy didn't really love autumn. He was a winter kind of person, though Sebastian could understand why. With allergies that powerful, winter was the one time of year the boy wasn't sneezing and coughing up a small storm. That, and he appeared to just like the snow and the twinkling lights. As any young child would.

Speaking of which, Ciel burst into sudden laughter at his side, and Sebastian looked up from his thermos to see why. His young companion had been kicking up the large piles of leaves as per usual, but this time it appeared someone had been caught in the crossfire.

A tall man with bronze skin and braided white hair shook yellowed leaves from his hair and green coat. When Ciel attempted an apology, the man chuckled deeply, a strangely rustic sound that reminded Sebastian of the deep purr of a lion or tiger.

"No need," The man rumbled, a genuine smile spreading across his face as he held up his hands. Almost like he expected them to be in need of placating. "I'm quite alright. That is quite a kick you've got there, young man. Not many can move like that without some practice. You've got good form."

Ciel shrugged at this, though from his flushed face, it was obvious he was a bit flustered. Not anyone could recognize the calculated grace and speed in which the slate haired boy moved. Seeing as how he wasn't going to speak up, he did so himself.

"He takes classes at a local studio." Was offered in explanation, though Sebastian was careful not to mention that the studio was a dance studio for ballet. Ciel liked to keep his hobbies personal and private. "He's a natural at most things he tries for, though."

He could feel a pointy elbow jab into his side, but he ignored it in favor of flashing the man a smile. He chuckled again, that sound sending shivers down his spine. This feeling was the same enjoyment he got from autumn, but as if someone had cranked up the volume on it. He wasn't quite sure if he liked it. It was certainly interesting. The stranger was, too, with his handsome face, strong arms and warm eyes. There was the potential for danger in those eyes. Something beastly that lurked just beneath that kind smile and baritone voice, a constant threat of pain should something go amiss.

Sebastian wasn't sure why that thrilled him. It just did. Like crossing paths with a big cat, delighted to get so close, yet scared and anxious of the predator before him.

Smiling, he took the plunge head first.

"I'm Sebastian." A hand held out, an offer, a peaceful gesture.

"Agni." The hand was taken, and silvery purple met crimson red in an unspoken promise of the days to come. "I have to run, errands and all that, but I just opened a bakery a little ways down the street. Why don't you two stop in some time?"

A man who looked like this, baking? And so close to his own shop? Sebastian wondered if this was punishment for something he had done as a bodyguard.

"Ah, of course! I have my own shop down that way, I'm sure we'll see each other again."

With that fragile promise, Sebastian continued down the street, reaching back to tug Ciel along with. He had to resist the urge to look back, knowing that there was no way someone like Agni would spare a second glance at him. He just looked on ahead. Everything would be forgotten once he got to work and lost himself in fragrant dirt and green ferns.

* * *

"So, I found out where Agni's bakery is." Sebastian froze, hands buried deep in a bag of damp soil, listening as Ciel continued. "It's in that empty space next to Hannah's bar. Y'know, the one right between her place and Claude's tattoo parlor? Not the most welcoming spot, but its already popular. Alois said that their strawberry tarts are pretty good, maybe we should stop by, like Agni told us too."

The boy was leaned over the front counter, clicking away at his laptop as he spoke. Even as Sebastian rose from his stooped position and shook off the dirt from his hands, he didn't look away from the screen. Honestly, it was a common sight. Especially with all the advanced classes and pre-college courses he was taking. The boy had no time to dawdle, even when he was helping Sebastian with the shop.

"If we did go, we'd have to close up. That's lost business, Ciel." He fondly brushed his hands over the drooping fronds of a spider fern; their shop neighbor, Claude, tended to buy them for his shop windows. He wasn't sure why, though. His parlor was dark and gloomy and smelled of smoke and burnt skin; something colorful and bright would do much better to calm his...clients. Turning to walk towards Ciel, he passed a little row of tall bamboo shoots with tiny flowers blooming along their stalks. Those would do well.

Of course, Claude wouldn't listen to it. The only colorful flowers that man ever bought were for Hannah, and so far he didn't seem to have much luck with those.

"There's no one even in here, Sebastian." Ah, Ciel, the ever constant voice of disdain. "I think we can afford to lock the doors for a measly twenty minutes. Besides, didn't Hannah ask you to bring down those sunflowers she ordered? We can bring those while we're down there."

He was right; although the bar didn't open for another hour, Hannah was no doubt already there preparing for the day. And there wasn't anyone browsing his stock at that moment, either. Just a few people stopping to glance through the large glass window before they continued on their way.

"I really shouldn't leave the place unattended." Even to himself, his argument sounded weak; faltering. He was floundering for a reason not to see Agni again.

"It's not unattended. The cactus watches over the shop." Ciel motioned to the worn out tapestry above him, where the art depicted a black cacti with red spines and a large flower that resembled a watchful eye. "Seriously, it's creepy. You could at least switch it out every once and awhile."

"Hannah thinks it's nice."

"You don't even like Hannah, why does her opinion matter here?"

"I do like Hannah! I just don't like her suitors coming in here to buy roses from me...or telling me how much they want to put their two inch dicks in her."

"I did not need to hear any of that." Ciel glared at him, finally turned away from his laptop. "Now you owe me a coffee and a chocolate scone."

There was no way he was getting out of this, was there? With a sigh, Sebastian wiped the rest of the dirt from his hands before he removed the black apron from around his waist. The young boy, of course, wasted no time in shutting his laptop and grabbing his coat. He was always eager to get out of the shop that tormented his allergies so.

Sebastian took longer, running his fingers through his hair and attempting to look like he hadn't been engaged in physical labor. He was sweaty, covered in dirt and smelled like a whole assortment of plants and flowers; he was sure it was unpleasant. Still, the best he could do was tidy himself as best as he could. Not quite satisfied, but well aware of Ciel getting impatient by the door, he picked up the shop keys and followed the boy out into the autumn air.

* * *

After dropping the sunflowers off with a rather pouty Alois and, with instructions to come by later to see Hannah about another order, Sebastian and Ciel headed towards the quaint little bakery that had to be Agni's. There were no signs to find the name of the place, but it had not deterred people from the lovely shade of purple that it was painted, with the bright yellow flower pots underneath the big windows. Sebastian thought that violets would make a great statement with a bit of mint and rosemary planted in those empty, overly neon pots.

As soon as they entered, they were hit with the smell of warm pastries and brewing coffee. The bakery _was_ busy. Almost every table was occupied, and it took ten minutes for him and Ciel to make it the front counter, where a cheerful looking teenager was manning the register. His cheer wasn't the only unusual thing about him; the youth also had purple hair tied up into a tight bun, a few small hoop earrings in both ears, and he wore a necklace of gold beads with his dark blue uniform. As Ciel stepped up to the counter, he beamed at the younger boy - only to receive a sharp scowl in return.

The scowling wasn't out of the norm for Ciel, but Sebastian found himself chuckling at the display anyway. For his part, the teenager just kept smiling. He must be related to Agni somehow, the both of them were so optimistic and positive.

"Hi! Welcome to our bakery, I'm Soma!" Wow, even his voice was loud and cheerful. "We only just opened, but our baker, Agni, works double time so we always have fresh products! See anything you'd like to try?"

Ciel didn't hesitate, spouting off what he wanted in a quick, upset sounding voice. He went to find them a table, leaving Sebastian to finish the order and pay.

"My apologies. He's not one for being very friendly." The teenager - Soma - shook his head as he apologized.

"Don't worry about it. I ran into him earlier and I think I offended him somehow."

"Everything offends him. I wouldn't take it to heart. I'm Sebastian, by the way, and that was Ciel."

"Oh! Agni mentioned you guys! He said you have a shop down here, too. Is that right?"

"Ah, yes, I own the small garden store just down the street. It's next to that posh boutique with the ugly designer baby clothes?" At this, he heard the couple behind him giggle, quietly agreeing with the comment about the boutique. Soma seemed amused by it too, if his smile was anything to go by.

"Didn't peg you for a gardening type. But I know the place, made fun of it on the way in. Those are really ugly baby clothes. I'd love to chat, but I should keep the line moving, what was your order?"

Sebastian managed to get a large chai tea and a muffin before the people behind him starting getting impatient. He stepped out of the way, smiling at Soma as he did. He caught a brief glimpse of a tall man in an apron carrying a tray of bread, and realized that it must've been Agni. That man could sure move. He stayed by the counter, occasionally peeking over it to try and catch another look at the elusive baker, while waiting for a somber girl with short dark hair to give him his and Ciel's drinks and food. Once he had them in hand, he found Ciel seated by the window, playing some game on his phone.

"So, you already met Soma? Why didn't you tell me that?" Sebastian set Ciel's overly sugary coffee in front of him, eyeing the boy's brightly lit game and overwhelming dings and music. That was bound to bother someone.

"Didn't seem all that important, besides," Pausing to bite into his chocolate scone, the boy chewed thoughtfully, swallowing before he continued. "You were preoccupied with your plants and seeing the sweet baker with the great ass again. Didn't want to bug you with my problems."

Lies. Ciel was never reluctant to complain to him about something or someone.

"Language, Ciel. He mentioned that he upset you, though. Did he? If he did, I cou-"

"He kept asking about my eyepatch. Wouldn't shove off when I told him to."

"Oh. Well, I'll talk to him. Let him know you're a private person and don't like being bothered. He's also new to the area, he might have been trying to get to know you." Sebastian sipped his tea, which burnt his tongue it was so hot, but was actually really good. "In a really bad way, but he could be nervous. You were like that, remember?"

"I was eleven. He's like, seventeen, I think. He should know better."

"And I agree with you on that. He should have left you be when you asked him to. Why don't you give him another chance?"

"Only if you talk to Agni again. And tell Claude to piss off when he tries to buy more spider ferns, like you want to." Sebastian sighed, stalling as he dug into his muffin. It was warm and buttery, better than anything he could make at home. Not that his own cooking was bad, he knew he could've gotten a job as a chef when he retired from his first job; however, Agni must have had some sort of godly power for baking.

"Fuck, this is good."

"Sebastian."

"Sorry. If it makes you happy, I'll do that. But I won't tell Claude off. He's stupid for killing his plants, yes, but he also hasn't figured out that I hike up the prices for him. Let him waste all of his money for dead ferns. You have his stupidity to thank for your coffee."

Looking back towards the counter, Sebastian could see that there was no longer a line and no one waiting for something. Soma seemed to have struck up a conversation with the somber girl, actually getting her to smile at something he said. He seemed like an ok kid. A little too brash with his words, but decent. There was a sudden scrape of wood on wood, and Ciel was getting up, taking his empty plate with him up to the counter. As soon as he made it to the counter, the two teenagers stopped talking and turned to him.

Even from where he sat, Sebastian could hear Soma greet Ciel, and he watched as the boy was drawn into the earlier conversation. Good. That boy needed more friends other than the kind of creepy son of Hannah's.

As busy watching his sort of son play nice with Soma and the girl, he almost didn't notice Agni until the man was standing next to him.

"You're a quiet person." Sebastian slid his gaze up towards the other man, noticing that he seemed startled by him.

"I don't mean to be. Is um, Ciel your son? You two just seem...close."

"It's a complicated subject, actually. I'm not his dad, not even related. I'm more or less all he's got, though."

"He's adopted, then? I adopted Soma awhile back. I know how it is, it can be really complicated sometimes."

Sebastian eyed the taller man, watching him slide into the seat Ciel had just been in. He didn't bother to correct him, that he hadn't adopted Ciel at all. Like he had said, it was complicated.

"Is it just you and him?"

"Yeah. I...yeah, it's just us."

"Same with me and Soma. Being a single father...it's tough. I mean, it's really difficult, trying to be a role model for a young kid and also working and just, um..." Sebastian looked up from his chai tea, smiling faintly. Agni's attempt at relating with him was endearing, it really was.

"Being alone. Being by yourself, struggling alone while the world wants to do you in. Yeah, parenting is just like that. I've been told you get used to it."

"I've had Soma for almost seven years. You don't. Get used to it, I mean."

"I've had Ciel since he was, nine, ten. He's fifteen now. You've definitely got me beat there. Hannah is another single parent here, she has a son, Alois. He and Ciel are the same age."

"Hannah? She owns the bar next door, doesn't she?"

"Considering it has her name in the title? Yes, it is rather obvious."

"I don't like to presume things."

"Unless it's about me?"

Agni laughed, startling Sebastian enough for him to set his beverage back down. He had a beautiful laugh. God, this was so his punishment, wasn't it?

"You are an enigma, my friend. You dress like a wealthy scholar who lives in a big city with a glamorous apartment, yet your physical appearance seems that of someone who has spent a lifetime fighting. When you said you owned a place down here, I thought you meant like a book store or an antique shop."

"I own a garden store. I grow plants and sell them."

"Now, see, you just don't seem to be the type. Did you have a job before then?"

"I don't care to talk about it. Sorry, but its rather personal to me. Um, When did you guys move here? Do you live close by?"

The conversation veered off into something about the neighborhood, and Sebastian let himself relax into it. Agni was easy to talk to. He was bright and happy and optimistic, speaking in such gentle tones that it didn't matter what they talked about; it was soothing to listen to him. Like that early morning podcast Ciel listened to every Sunday. Just soft and slow enough that it calmed the nerves and made the air feel peaceful, natural. Agni had the same effect. It wasn't until Ciel came back over that he even realized how much time they'd been there, talking like a pair of chatty soccer moms.

They bid both Soma and Agni a good day and went back out into the cold, heading back towards the shop. Neither of them spoke. As soon as they entered the shop again, Ciel went off to his spot by the counter, jabbing at his phone and opening his laptop. Sebastian stood there, slowly pulling his scarf and jacket off, breathing in the sweet scent of flowers and damp soil.

He kept thinking of Agni's smile, his soft voice, the kindly way he would set his hand on top of Sebastian's as they conversed. It was stupid of him to feel so weird about it. His split with Ash had been a long time ago. He shouldn't feel like he owed the bastard anything, not with what he put all of them through. Sebastian looked over, at Ciel, and wondered what he thought. The young boy tended to bottle things up, but he had always expressed his dislike of people rather loudly.

He hadn't complained about Agni or Soma. Was that a good sign? He hoped it was. Agni was so good, and Sebastian was...was he ready to go back to not being single?

"I like Agni." Ciel had moved away from his laptop, his allergy medicine in hand. He was making an odd face, like he couldn't decide whether to sneeze or scowl his legal guardian. "I know you do, too. He's nice, and I guess Soma isn't that bad."

Sebastian didn't reply, folding his jacket over the back of a chair and waiting for him to continue. Ciel took a deep breath, like he was about to plunge into freezing water. He was plunging into something, that was for sure. They both seemed to be doing that.

"You're not as good at hiding things from me as you might think." Not surprising. He was a very nosy child.

"The past few years have been really rough, for the both of us, I'm just trying to keep the stress off you as much as I can."

"Ash hurt you more." The mention of his ex made Sebastian take a sharp breath, hands curling and nails biting into his palms. "I don't remember a lot, but I remember you driving us to stay with Tanaka. You were crying. I'm sorry I didn't know how to deal with it and I'm sorry I'm difficult to deal with."

"You're...you're worth the trouble, Ciel. I wouldn't have taken you with me if I had thought otherwise. I just don't want to repeat any of that. We're not ready for a big change."

"I think we are." Ciel moved, sneakers squeaking on the wooden floors as he crossed the room to Sebastian. "Sebastian?"

"Yeah?"

"You deserve to be happy."

"Do I, though?"

"Yes. You do."


	2. Chapter 2

**More of this! I'm actually surprised anyone liked my silly Au with soft dad Sebastian, but I'm glad? This is set a few days after they all meet, and is more focused on the past and what happened with Ash Landers. Because of that, I have to warn y'all that there's some mention of domestic abuse in this chapter.**

 **Anyway, enjoy this hot pile of garbage. Feedback is appreciated, as always, or any kind of comment you wanna make. (I watched Rent the entirety of the time I was writing this oops.)**

* * *

Sebastian was an insomniac. This was something he would readily admit to. His body's reluctance to let him indulge in much needed slumber wasn't a secret. Even if it was, it would be a very badly kept secret. He would stay up for hours beyond what anyone else would, sometimes not crawling into his bed until it was past three in the morning. There were particular nights where he didn't sleep at all, bulldozing through the midnight hours and going to work without ever having slept a wink.

He slept better in the shop, curled on top of the emergency cot for a quick cat nap while Ciel or Finny minded the shop. He blamed it on their apartment. His past had nothing to do with the quaint, modern space, but there were still times when he was cruelly reminded of things long since done and over with.

Walking down the hallway that led to the living room and kitchen, Sebastian was mulling this over, having found a forgotten box at the back of his closet. As he reached Ciel's part of the hallway, he paused. Leaving his thoughts to the side, Sebastian nudged the door open to peer in on the kid. His laptop was open and on, bright screen glaring in the otherwise dark room, and Ciel was asleep beside it. His headphones were still on, phone next to his head and blankets bunched around him.

Sebastian padded into the room, feet sinking into the thick carpet, a soft smile on his face. Gently easing the headphones off of the boy's head, he shut the laptop and moved it to Ciel's cluttered desk, plugging his phone into it's charger as an after thought. He didn't bother to fix the blankets; Ciel usually just kicked them all to the floor anyway.

Just as he leaned down, meaning to kiss the boy's forehead goodnight, Sebastian caught sight of the singed corner of a photograph. It was one he knew well. Despite knowing what it was, he reached to gingerly tug it out from under the boy's pillow. The paper was brittle and burnt around the edges, but the picture itself was still intact; Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive, Ciel's real and biological parents. They had died in the fire that had burnt the photo. It was a wonder such a tiny part of them had survived.

Sebastian glanced down at Ciel, dropping his hand to touch the soft, slate-blue hair that he had inherited from his father. It was a miracle such a small boy had survived - and not just the fire. What had happened afterwards had been just as horrid as the death of his parents. He had been a part of the force, then, the first one through that twisting, cavernous place. He remembered holding Ciel, so tiny and bloodied and terrified, cradling the boy to his chest and swearing to protect him.

He carefully tucked the photo back where he had found it, affectionately brushing his hand through Ciel's hair before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Retreating from the room, he shut the door with an almost sorrowful sounding click.

How many time had he broken that promise? A part of him knew that it was unreasonable to think he could protect his not-son all the time; but he had told him, almost five years ago, that he would protect him.

And here they were, with the remains of Ash's sadism and cruelty looming over their every day lives. Sebastian rubbed his hands over his arms, just thinking of his ex giving him goosebumps. But Ash was gone now. Far away, locked up for what he had done. To the people he had stolen from. The city he had left locked into fear. To him and Ciel.

Somehow, that thought didn't comfort him any.

* * *

"Don't forget your homework." Sebastian received an indignant sigh and a glare for the reminder. Ciel was never happy to return to school on a crisp autumn Monday; apparently, he much preferred being at the shop or wandering the streets with a good book.

"Did you grab your lunch bag?" Another sigh, more socked feet stomping over the wooden floors. "You'll want shoes on, too."

This time, Ciel let out a loud, irritated huff and dropped his bag, storming down the hallway to his room. He came back a few minutes later, a pair of green suede boots on. At least they matched his black jeans and green button up. He watched as the boy continued huffing about the living room, collecting pushed aside textbooks and pieces of paper with his delicate handwriting cramped into the margins. With the last book shoved into his overly expensive schoolbag, he was finally ready.

Sebastian scooped his car keys out from the cat-shaped bowl on the counter, jingling them to get Ciel's attention. After throwing on their jackets, they hurried down the stairs of their apartment complex; they didn't bother to see if the constantly broken elevator was working this morning. Stepping out into the parking garage, Sebastian patted his pockets to check for his wallet, and then followed the impatient fifteen year old to his black sedan.

The drive to Ciel's school was mostly quiet, just the classical music from the radio filling the interior of the car. He knew why Ciel was acting out, but Sebastian couldn't think of why not seeing Agni after that first day was so upsetting to him. True, he had had plenty of chances to go see the other man, but had taken none of them. But he also had a job to do. He couldn't just flounce out and go flirt whenever he felt like it. He was supposed to be a good role model, set the example for the youth in his life.

However, looking at the grumpy boy sitting beside him, Sebastian wondered if that excuse would work. It probably wouldn't. Ciel was far too stubborn.

"Hey, Sebastian?" Oh no, he was using that soft sad-kid voice he used when he wanted something.

"Yes, Ciel? What's wrong?"

"I just wanted to ask if you were ok."

Oh. His hands tightened on the steering wheel, and Sebastian forced his eyes to stay on the road. Was he ok? He had been thinking about the past a lot, lately. Thoughts of Ciel's parents, of Ash, of his own failures and mistakes. How terrified he was that he didn't deserve to be a part of sunny, happy Agni's lit up life.

"Sebastian?" God, Ciel actually sounded worried, a tiny hand reaching to rest on his forearm.

"I'm...going to be ok. There's still a lot to work through, little one."

"I know, I know, but it doesn't mean I can't worry."

"I'm aware, Ciel. Now, are you ok?"

Ciel huffed, turning his head to look out the window.

"I'm fine. I guess. I mean, I'm tired and...I keep thinking about, um..."

"About your parents?"

"Actually, yeah. And the fact that you keep denying that anyone could ever like you enough to not be put off by how fucking weird you are."

"Language!" Sebastian snapped, turning into the school's parking lot. He could see Alois and Elizabeth already waiting for Ciel, the two blondes watching the car like the two vultures they were. "Look, I'm just not ready to jump into a relationship. Especially not with someone I barely know."

"I'm not saying you should do that, but Sebastian, please." Ciel gathered his bag into his arms, a hand on the latch of the car door. He looked up at him, his remaining blue eye neither glaring nor sad. "Healthy human interaction. Even someone like you needs it, and I just want you to get better, you deserve it. I gotta go, I'll see you after school."

The door slammed shut behind him, leaving Sebastian to sit and stew over what had just been said to him. Ciel was far too smart for his own good. A car horn blared, startling him from his thoughts, and he pulled forward, casting one last glance towards the youth and his friends. Maybe if he went back to Agni, he could get Ciel to talk to him about what was going on in that brilliant mind of his.

He just had to talk to Agni, right? He could do that.

As soon as he opened up the shop, that is.

* * *

With Finny minding the register and dealing with people up front, Sebastian was left to lurk in the back, where the air was warm and there was dirt smeared into the chipped cement. Perfect for growing his beloved plants. It also worked for avoiding doing the things he had sworn he would. Like walking over to the bakery. Talking to Agni. Giving himself the chance to grow, to be cared for, to be loved.

He sighed, leaning back and away from the shelves of plants. Succulents. He had only just started to grow this batch, and the plants had tiny, velvety leaves and thick stalks. Ciel had a few of these in his windowsill; the fact that they were still alive was surprising. Sebastian stroked on long, soft stalk, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought.

What would come of him and Agni continuing to speak? To have those easy, calm conversations? Would they eventually transition from conversing in their respective work spaces, or would they go elsewhere? God forbid they started going out. He couldn't imagine what Ciel's reaction to that would be.

Actually, he could. It was not pretty.

Straightening up, Sebastian stretched his arms above his head, closing his eyes and basking, for just a moment, in the warm lights of his kind-of-not-really-greenhouse. Letting his arms fall to his sides, hooking his thumbs into the apron strings tied around his waist, he took a moment to peruse over his collection of plants. The cacti settled into the corner, the tall fig trees crowding the right walkway, the tiny sprouts of bamboo clustered around the succulents. On the other side, there were Venus Flytraps and violets and tulips, a soft myriad of colors and vibrant hues.

"I might have been wrong. This does suit you." The deep voice, spoken by someone standing very, very close to him and practically breathing on his neck, was jarring to hear. Sebastian didn't dare move, now all too aware of the dirt marking up his shirt and pants. The heat of the warm room had a thin sheen of sweat on his skin, his bare arms nicked with leaves and scars and the white t-shirt sticking to his slender body. He probably looked like a mess. He was a mess.

And Agni was standing behind him, he probably looked like some sort of handsome god who carried the scent of sugar and cinnamon.

"You grew all of these?" Agni stepped around him, in simple jeans and a long sleeved grey shirt. His pale hair was pulled up and tucked beneath a soft, grey knit cap, just a single neat braid hanging at the side of his face. Sebastian swept a hand through his own messy hair, the only thing about his appearance he could really change.

"Technically, time grew all of these." He scrubbed at his bare arms and tried - in vain - to brush off the dirt on his clothes. "But I watered them, trimmed them, all the actions most mistake for forcing something to grow."

Agni laughed, and Sebastian felt his face grow hot. Jesus fucking Christ. This man would be his undoing.

"You supported these plants, then. You cared for their needs and gave them the space to blossom and thrive. Honestly, when we had spoken at my work, I couldn't see you with your hands dirty, kneeling among a bunch of pots and plants." Sebastian frowned, swallowing thickly and watching as the other man bent to examine the little neat rows of succulents, touching their velvet stalks with the utmost care. Agni shot a look over his shoulder, a warm smile gracing his handsome features. "But seeing you just then, just looking over these little guys with your hands on your hips and that look on your face..."

Agni straightened up, continuing to wander through the rows of pots and trowels and bags of dirt.

"What kind of look was on my face?" He genuinely wanted to know, and despite the fears still squeezing his heart, followed Agni down past the green shoot his hands had cultivated so carefully.

"It was peaceful. You were at peace, you were calm, but you were also thinking. Your hands hard at work, helping such tiny and fragile things to grow, but your mind was busy, too. A little like...the surface was calm, and being in this room is something you love, but also..."

They both paused, Sebastian freezing at the apprehension in Agni's voice. He said nothing, nervously waiting for this intriguing man to continue his train of thought. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of waiting in the warm, fragrant room, Agni spoke up again, this time facing the huddled pots of cacti in the corner.

"You looked like you were at war with yourself."

He swore he felt his stomach fall and his chest tighten up with an emotion that was hard to place.

"Ah. I see. Thank you for...clarifying that." What else was he supposed to say? There was a ding up front, Finny's cheerful voice greeting another person. Sebastian worried at his bottom lip, crossing his arms over his chest. His thoughts were his own; if Agni attempted to pry, he would be blocked off and told to shove it.

"I apologize, I shouldn't have even come back here. I told young Finnian that I knew you and he just waved me back here." Of course he did. Finny was just as nosy as Ciel was.

"No, it's alright. I don't mind it, really."

"Oh, thank goodness." Agni put a hand over his heart, flashing Sebastian a nearly blinding smile. "I'm glad for that, at least. Did I, um, startle you before?"

"...I won't lie, you took me by surprise." In more ways than one. "What did you need, by the way? You didn't come here just to praise me for my work, did you?"

"That is correct. I wanted to see how you felt about, uh, taking a walk with me?"

"Pardon?"

"At the Courtyard? In the Angel Gardens?" Agni continued, talking about how Soma had suggested the place, but Sebastian was frozen. The Angel Gardens. It was the only place in this entire goddamn city that Ash had tainted to the point where just the name of the place would send ice down his veins. And Agni wanted to take him there.

"No. Fucking no. Not that place, ever." Sebastian hissed, his harsh tone obviously startling - even hurting - the gentle giant in front of him. He didn't care. Or maybe he just cared why too much. All he could think was that day Ash had taken him there, just after he had hit him the first time. It had been spring, and Ash had been promising not to hurt him ever again, and the sharp, distinctive pain in his side and face had blotted out all rational thought.

He had just agreed to whatever Ash was saying so he wouldn't be hurt again. Of course, that had failed miserably, but at the time it was all he could do to protect himself and Ciel.

"Sebastian? Are you alright?" Agni at least had the smarts to not reach for him, but that look on his face, one of understanding, of worry. God, he hated that look.

"I'm fine. Those gardens have bad memories and I will not go there. Ever."

"Alright. I won't ask why, or what happened, but if you need anything, I'm close by." There was silence for a long moment, the only sound coming from the front of the store. Even that was muffled. Sebastian saw Agni step closer, a gentle, careful hand settling on his clenched hand. He let it happen, red eyes watching the other man with all the caution of a trapped cat.

"Instead of the gardens, then lets just walk the streets. I'm still not confident in where to go, and this place is a bit of a labyrinth to a newcomer like me..." It was another chance, another option. An offer. One that Sebastian knew he would be stupid to refuse.

And it wasn't like he had anywhere to be unless it was at the shop or picking Ciel up from school. But not right now. Neither of them were in the mood for awkward walks when Sebastian had so much on his mind. He said that much, offering instead to meet Agni tomorrow. They agreed on a place to meet, a time and then Agni bought a particularly rosy colored succulent before he left.

Sebastian was left to stand in his shop's back room, wringing his hands and worrying.

* * *

 _Ash stood above him, yelling and ranting about one thing or another. Sebastian could only choke out apologies, placating phrases and lay as still as possible. The more he moved, the more Ash would kick or stomp on him. Red eyes fell on Ciel, the boy shocked and unmoving from where he had been doing homework until his guardian's boyfriend got home._

 _He should have seen this coming. Both of them should have. Ash was a violent, temperamental person who only paraded about as a saint for the sake of society and the public._

 _Another kick, this time aimed at the back of his head. His vision was fuzzy. He tasted something coppery in the back of his throat, and as he watched Ash storm towards a now terrified, screaming Ciel, he started slipping into a weird darkness. He saw a raised hand, something sharp in the grip -_

Sebastian bolted upright, hands scrambling to throw the comforter off of him, a scream dying in his throat. Distantly, he noticed his cat, his little Satan, meowing at him as she shook her bristling fur. She must have been sleeping on his feet again. He reached to pet her, the tiny ragdoll immediately accepting the affection with a happy little purr. She didn't seem to mind that his hands shook; trying to distract himself he scooped her up, kissing the top of her tiny head.

The cat, as per usual for greedy little kitties, ate up the attention before she sank tiny claws into his hands so he would let her go. Sebastian set her down on the ground, though he didn't watch her saunter off. Usually he'd make sure the beast was gone before he even thought about getting out of bed, but today he had an early street walk scheduled. With Agni.

But that nightmare-slash-memory of Ash hurting him and Ciel…it stuck out in his mind, rolling around with his other thoughts and weighing down on any feelings of excitement he felt to spend time with Agni. Years after he left the man, and Ash was still controlling his life.

Sebastian stood up, trying not to stomp as he snatched up a towel and went into his bathroom. He was going to enjoy this day out. Agni was nothing like Ash, he was warm and kind and gentle and could read people like an open book. Well, except himself. Hadn't Agni said he was an enigma? He was a mystery according to Agni, a dazzling and intoxicating puzzle meant to never be figured out.

As he waited for the shower to heat up, his thoughts shifted from his anxieties about Ash to further impressing Agni. He still had those high heeled boots. The ones Ash would sneer about and use to justify calling Sebastian a whore and a bitch and other nasty words. He used to love those. Of course, they were just walking around, but he had plenty of more comfortable options that gave him a similar vibe.

It was about time he rescued a few things from the dark where Ash had forced them.

His leather clothing, for example. He had missed those pants, after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to any loyal readers staying on, and thank you for those leaving comments! Every single one is appreciated, even just a few words of praise or excitement!**

 **Here's our next installment of Sebastian-needs-to-get-his-shit-together-and-acknowledge-that-he-deserves-love, hope y'all enjoy this.**

* * *

Tuesday afternoon. Standing at the place where he and Agni had agreed to meet, Sebastian felt like he stuck out from the crowd. Plucking nervously at his sleeves, then shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat, then sighing and running his hands though his hair. The sun was shining, the day was warming up, and Agni wasn't here yet. Was he being blown off? Was this what it was like to get stood up?

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he tugged off his coat, suddenly feeling way to warm for the heavy autumn outerwear. He folded the thick coat over his arm, a bit more comfortable in the soft, knitted turtleneck Grell had insisted he wear. He still wasn't sure about the Grell-approved outfit; he usually wore a much more subdued set of clothes. He only ever wore jeans when he was working in the shop, usually slacks and a clean dress shirt when he was out and about.

Yet, here he was, standing next to a park bench in a pair of high waisted dark sailor jeans, his maroon turtleneck tucked in. He'd also worn a pair of tall, red combat boots, the kind that his ex had hated and always tried to throw away or burn. Those had been his choice to wear, though.

Honestly, it felt refreshing. Like he was getting to tell Ash to _fuck off_ one last time.

They were also really, really comfy. Perfect for walking around town with an incredibly handsome man. Who was late.

Looking at his phone, Sebastian realized that Agni was late by a few minutes. Standing on his tip toes, he couldn't see him, either. It left him wondering if perhaps he was being stood up. Discarded for one reason or another. He should've seen this coming from a mile away. Shoulders slumping in disappointment, he turned, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth and considering just going home.

"Sebastian! _Wait!_ "

There he was - Agni - weaving his way through the throng of people, taking long strides to where Sebastian was standing. He had an arm raised, waving to catch his attention, to stop him from up and leaving. He didn't dare move other than to lift a hand in a halfhearted wave, worried that if he did Agni would simply disappear and he would be alone again.

By the time he reached him, the pale haired man was a bit out of breath, but beaming.

"Apologies for the tardiness! Soma managed to catch his sleeve on fire while he was in the kitchen and I had to deal with that and make sure he was ok before I could even think of leaving and I'm...I'm sorry." He couldn't help but wonder if Agni was lying. He quickly shook the thought from his mind; the flustered man standing in front of him didn't seem the type to lie so readily.

"It's alright. Is Soma ok?" Agni gave him an odd look, eyes knowing, and Sebastian had to resist the urge to look away.

"Soma is fine. Only his shirt was damaged...were you about to leave? Just before, you were about to walk away."

"Ah, oh...honestly, I thought you had decided you were better off staying home."

"Wait, Sebastian. You thought I would stand you up?"

Sebastian shrugged, managing to flash Agni a small, albeit unsure smile.

"It wouldn't be the first time. I've gotten rather used to it, not a lot of people can put up with me."

"I can't relate. You're amazing! You love your work, your son, you're so passionate about the things you like and you're _beautiful._ I mean, even I can pick up that you've had a few rough years, that you're not exactly honest about certain things, but those aren't traits that define you." Agni shook his head, gently taking Sebastian by the arm as they started to walk down the street. "You have friends too. People who think the world of you and see just how hard you work to give Ciel the best you can."

Sebastian didn't say anything, too busy being quietly in awe of this pure, wholesome man who had barely known him for a week, and yet had the confidence to say such wonderful things about him. Agni only continued, listing everything he could think of; he even praised him for those days he would set out food and water for the stray cats in the area.

They were approaching a small duck pond and playground, the shouts of happy children thick in the autumn air. They stopped, and Sebastian peered out over the pond. The water was peaceful, save for the ducks who swam from one end to the other, snapping up the offered bread and celery. Next to him, Agni cleared his throat.

It appeared he had one last remark to make.

"Sebastian. I don't know what or who hurt you before, but I'm not them. I'm not like them. I would never hurt you. You deserve to be happy, Sebastian."

"Funny, Ciel said the same thing a few days ago." Agni gave him another look, though this one was tinged with amusement.

"Could we give this a chance? Whatever this is, do you think we could let it bloom? You can say no, we can be shop neighbors and just that. But I'd like to ask, now, if you would be comfortable with that. With me."

What could he say? He was scared to even try again, to reach out and touch those old scars left by vile hands. He was terrified. What if he fucked up, what if he did something wrong or said something weird? What if Agni really was lying? He couldn't put Ciel through that. Not again. Agni had been so kind to them, though. The man was so gentle, so warm, Sebastian couldn't really see him being the malicious, abusive type like...like Ash.

Suddenly acutely aware of Agni's hand on his arm, he tried to think, to imagine being with Agni, letting himself be open and soft with someone again.

God, he wanted that so badly.

"We could go slow? I'll let you start everything and only make suggestions, ok?"

Fuck, he wished Agni wasn't able to so easily read his moods. But he could go slow. Really, really slow.

Turning his gaze to look up at Agni, he smiled - something real and soft and warm - and nodded.

"I'm...I think I'm ready to...give it a try."

"That's great. What do you want to do right now?"

"Uh..."

"We could just keep walking, if you want?"

"Yeah...actually, you, um, want to get something to eat? There a great diner just down this road here, me and Ciel get breakfast there all the time..."

They started to walk again, closer this time, strides almost in perfect sync.

And when Agni's hand slipped down to his, Sebastian didn't hesitate to entwine their fingers.

He could do this.

Right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, guess who's not dead? It's me, bitches, and I'm back with a new chapter of Scars, Cacti and Chai Tea! I'm sorry for poofing on you guys, my mental health took a steep decline and I had to drop stuff and take care of myself.**

 **Thank you to everyone who's commented on this fic, or given kudos/followed/faved (whether you read this on fanfiction or Ao3). I fucking love all of you, and its you guys that convinced me to try to keep writing and finish these fics. (and get my shit together too, but shh)**

 ** **The flow might seem off, since its been while, but I swear I'm still putting my entire heart into this Au.****

 ** **ALSO! In an attempt to work on my writer's block and improve on my skill, you guys are welcome to request different topics to write about! (this goes for different fandoms I'm in as well). All one-shot requests will be under 1,000/1,500 words depending on the subject (and also I've never read the manga so I just don't know some characters enough to write them. If y'all know a place to read the manga for cheap because I'm a broke hoe _TELL ME I WILL LOVE YOU)_****

 ** **Anyway I love you crazy kids enjoy this hot garbage typed at (you guessed it) 1am. Again.****

 ** **Set two weeks after Sebs and Agni's first date. ( _All I know_ and _Battle Cry_ by Beth Crowley is all I listened to while writing this. Her voice is beautiful, pls go check her out!)****

* * *

" _Honestly_ , baby, I'm glad you're dating someone new, and I understand that you're taking it _slow_...but its been two weeks. You have not kissed. You've barely held hands. Are we in _middle school_? _No_! Kiss that gorgeous man!" Grell dramatically flopped down onto the dark leather couch that stood in the exact center of Hannah's tastefully decorated living room. Hannah, for her part, simply ignored their usual dramatic and silently offered Sebastian the bottle of wine.

"I don't want to make any mistakes. I always end up moving too fast and doing something wrong." He took the bottle in his hands, running a black painted nail over the poorly attached label. "And I don't want to lose Agni."

Although he had mumbled the last sentence, both of his friends obviously heard him; Grell popped up from their seat on the couch, and Hannah paused with her wine glass against her lips. Slowly, she put the glass down, brow creased in concern. It was an expression he was fairly familiar with.

"Sebastian, love. I've seen the way Agni looks at you. He's the type of man who would let you choose wrong and make mistakes, because he doesn't care if you get it right or not, just that you have that freedom to make that choice and have him there to support you." She took a sip from her glass, staring over the rim at Sebastian, even as he tried to shrink into the stiff armchair he'd chosen as a perch. "Life isn't a test you have to pass, love, and being perfect isn't the rent you pay to be loved."

"Did you steal that from an inspirational poster?"

"Grell, be quiet and drink your wine."

Sebastian shook his head at his two friends bickering, more than used to it. He knew Hannah and Grell had good points, he was so used to letting his fears and doubts hold him back from being happy that he wasn't letting Agni in past the surface pain. And Agni always seemed so patient and gentle with him, letting him do things at his own pace.

"What if I make too many mistakes? What if I push him away too many times and he doesn't come back? No one has the patience for that. I'm so scared that I'll let him see me as I am and he'll be disappointed; who wants the broken leftovers of someone else?"

Why couldn't he just let him in? Why couldn't he dig out his damaged heart from where he had buried it and let Agni mend the breaks?

"Sebastian-" Hannah started, only to be abruptly cut off by a _clunk_ as Sebastian set his empty glass against the side table, missing the marble coaster.

"Why is it so hard to start over?" Quiet fell in the spacious living room, and Sebastian took a sharp inhale as the clean cut, black and white décor blurred with a sudden onset of tears.

"Oh, baby." Grell crossed the room in the span of a second, their soft hands gently prying the wine bottle from Sebastian's grip. They leaned in, wrapping an arm around him while reaching for the box of tissues Hannah was now holding. "I don't think anyone has the answers to that question."

"It takes time to recover from this kind of hurt." Hannah perched herself on the arm of the chair, leaning into his side with a sad smile. "And sometimes it doesn't go away at all, and that's ok too. All you can do is not let it win. We're proud that you got this far, that you're trying so hard to begin this new life...but if you need a break, if you need to get away, I understand."

"We're only a phone call away. Hell, sometimes you just have to walk down the street and we're there! Whenever you need us." Grell smiled, offering a tissue to him, despite the fact that his tears were still unshed.

What had he done to deserve these two?

Sebastian sniffled, sitting up a little straighter and mumbling an _I know_ to Grell and Hannah's assurance. Pushing them away just a little, he tried on a faint smile.

"I'm sorry, this is supposed to be our night out together and I'm already getting teary. I know you guys wanted to go somewhere tonight..."

"Oh, love, we were never going out. The moment I cracked open a new bottle of wine we were gonna end up staying in and watching romantic comedies and ruining our diets." Hannah patted his knee, then reached to take the bottle of wine from the side table Grell had set it. "But I don't think we need more wine."

"Take out food and ice cream, then?" Ceil would be furious with his caretaker for breaking his own rule about eating unhealthy food, but as Grell pulled him to his feet and cheered for pizza and mint ice cream and a midnight raid of the corner store for snacks, he couldn't help but not care.

Besides, Ceil was at a sleepover with his friends, he'd never know. About the junk food _and_ about his little freak out. Right?

* * *

Even though only half a bottle of wine had been consumed the night prior, Sebastian found himself nursing a headache in the morning. Grell and Hannah were still asleep on the giant king-sized bed of Hannah's, where they had spent the night watching movies on the bedroom's large screen TV. After detangling himself from underneath Grell's arms, Sebastian quietly wandered into the kitchen in a bleary search for a cold bottle of water. As per usual, Hannah's fridge was well stocked in all things needed for a simple breakfast.

It was the least he could do for his supportive friends - even if they were still dumbasses.

By the time he'd finished making a second batch of pancakes, said dumbasses came stumbling into the kitchen. Hannah went straight for a bottle of water like he had, and Grell latched on to him and groaned about pancakes, eggs and orange juice.

Of course, after eating, it was cold showers and promises to call them later before they had to part ways. Grell left on their motorcycle, waving goodbye as they strapped on the bright red helmet. Sebastian lingered after the redhead had left, always a bit hesitant to leave his long-time friend's house after a night like this. Hannah never liked being alone.

"Ceil is probably on his way home now. He'll be suspicious if you're not there before him." Hannah was still in lounge clothes, grey sweats and a purple sweater, her hair in a messy ponytail. She leaned against the doorframe of the front door, eyeing Sebastian where he stood next to his car. "God, you know I'm ok with being alone. Alois will be home from his dad's soon anyway, and I know you wanna get home and take care of your boy."

She came down the stone steps, bare feet barely making any sound in the peaceful, quiet suburb.

"I love you, seriously, but you don't need to stay with me. Go home, call your man and hug your son for me. Then call me so I know you got home safe, ok? Go. Shoo. Off you prance. Drink some coffee and eat a vegetable and make sure you take your meds."

He really didn't deserve his friends.

"The moment I put the car in reverse you'll be spamming my phone because you're lonely."

"Oh, so you don't want me to text you because I love my best friend? Should I spam Claude instead?"

"I'm going, I'm going. See, getting into the car right now. Happy? Please don't text him." Hannah stuck her tongue out at him, and Sebastian mimicked the childish gesture before he really did throw the car in reverse and start to back out of Hannah's driveway. Almost immediately, his phone buzzed in his pocket, and he saw Hannah smiling from the front door, holding her phone and forming a heart with her hands.

* * *

Later, he would check his phone to find a message from Agni, asking a simple _are you free?_ with a little tiger emoji at the end. His shop was closed for the day, Ceil wanted to get lunch with Alois and Elizabeth, so the apartment would be empty for another couple of hours. Just him and Satan - said cat happily wrapping around his legs and purring loudly enough to be mistaken for a passing plane.

Keeping what his friends had told him last night, he sent back a matching tiger emoji and a hopeful _yes!_

Almost immediately his phone buzzed, Agni replying at light speed. _Good. Movie date or lunch date?_

 _Cat café?_ Sure, he had his own cat, but Satan was only one little kitty. A cat café had a lot of cats and coffee. When he got another text from Agni with an address and a cat emoji, Sebastian couldn't help but smile. Maybe this _could_ work?

* * *

In theory, a date at the cat café sounded wonderful, but in practice it could be frustrating. Sebastian knew this, and despite having to push away yet another curious cat from his untouched sweet tea, he didn't regret his choice. Being surrounded by such soft, purring fellows felt calming; a perfect atmosphere to meet with his handsome...suitor? What was he even supposed to call Agni after two weeks of nervous dates?

A rather chubby tabby batted at his fidgeting hands, meowing loudly in displeasure when he didn't immediately pet her. He'd gotten to the café far too early, even though he'd taken another shower and changed into something that he hadn't slept in. Sebastian blamed his nerves.

Being early left him to wait for Agni to show up, fending off cats and nursing an iced tea that was far too sweet for his taste. The café was at least quiet. His table sat next to one of the oval-shaped windows, perfect for watching the street for a certain pale haired man. If it was also a popular sunbathing spot with the café's cats, that was just a bonus.

Sebastian leaned his elbow on the pastel pink tabletop, resting his chin on his hand. The tabby gave him a reproachful meow and hopped off his table, sauntering off to seduce some other hapless soul into lavishing her in attention. He didn't mind. There was already a pretty, sleek calico napping in his lap and a solid grey cat draped over the half of the table he wasn't using for his glass and his elbow.

The jingle of a loud bell drew his attention from the calico in his nap to the door. So much for being able to watch for Agni; the man had slipped past detection and stepped into the café without Sebastian having seen him through the window.

He looked nice, in a soft white turtleneck and black slacks, a coat draped over his arm. It must have gotten warmer outside since he'd sat down.

"Over here." Sebastian lifted an arm, waving Agni over to his feline-overrun table. He didn't seem to mind, just nudging the grey cat enough to slide into the other chair.

"You look as lovely as always." Agni held up a hand to catch the waiter's attention, his gaze only on Sebastian.

"Considering I spent the night with Hannah and Grell, I'll assume you're just being polite." He took a sip of his tea, lifting his hand a little higher when their table-topper tried to attack his sleeve. "I _am_ aware of when I look a mess."

"I don't know, I've always been soft for the bedhead look."

"Oh, no, my hair is just always this messy."

"Really? It looks curlier than usual today." Oh. _Oh dear lord._ Agni's hand was in his hair. _Agni_ was _playing_ with _his_ hair. Was this heaven? Did he die and ascend without knowing it? Had the tea been poisoned?

"It curls a bit when I let it air dry." Later, he would take pride in the fact that his voice didn't falter at all.

"Oh, well, you should do that more often. It suits you." The hand pulled away, a finger grazing over his cheek. Sebastian swore that he could still feel the touch lingering on his skin. Agni beamed at him, seemingly unaware of the inner turmoil he had set off. "Anyway, we're here for lunch, aren't we? Perhaps we should clear the table of our friend here?"

Shaking off the feeling, Sebastian nodded, silently scooping the grey cat up off the table and gently setting him on the floor. The cat simply laid where he was set down, flicking his long tail almost indignantly at the couple.

Sebastian took a moment to think of the other night, of what he had told Grell and Hannah, and what they had told him in turn. He didn't have to be perfect. He could afford a single mistake - if any of this even _was_ a mistake.

"Agni?"

"Hmm? Are you alright?"

"I've been thinking. I would like to try something, if you wouldn't mind humoring me." Sebastian leaned forward, making the calico in his lap jump off with a hiss.

"Of course not! We're moving at your pace, remember? As long as it isn't anything, y'know, extreme. I know you need more time, and you're worth the wait."

"Thank you for reminding me of what a _wonderful_ human being you are. But I know my limits. I'm ok with this."

Agni waited, oh so patiently, eyes wide and chin resting on his hand. A simple expression of curiosity, yet made so kind by the warmth in those eyes. Sebastian reached forward, tucking a stray braid behind Agni's ear before he hooked his fingers in the collar of the man's turtleneck and _pulled_.

It had been so long since he had kissed someone. Agni's lips were soft against his own, there was a lingering taste of sweet chocolate and blueberries on his tongue. Sebastian pulled away, just far enough to speak in a quiet mumble.

"Was that ok?" He teased, trying to ignore his heart in his throat.

"That was more than ok." Agni almost seemed out of breath, mouth open in surprise. "Can we do that again, actually?"

When Sebastian started laughing, letting Agni pull him into another kiss. Lunch could wait. Kissing this man - _his_ man - was now.


	5. Chapter 5

**I know, I know...I'm still fighting with my mental health. I don't have the energy to do a full chapter (I'm terrible) but I was able to gather up a bunch of small snippets into the characters lives that I've written. Some won't make sense, since they aren't important to the main plotline, but I felt bad being unable to write another chapter.**

 **I'm not abandoning this story, but I am taking a break from writing full length chapters for a bit. I think I'm gonna finish another anime and try writing for it (if you like BNHA/My Hero Academia you can catch me over there crying over the bad guys as per usual.) Might also try my hand at writing something for Yuri On Ice? I don't know yet.**

 **Anyway, hope you guys like these tidbits! If you have any ideas as to what I should eventually do for the next chapter I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

* * *

1\. _**THE PAJAMAS**_

* * *

Sebastian rarely had the apartment to himself. Usually, Ciel would be listening to some new pop song in the kitchen, or pacing the halls on the phone with Elizabeth or Alois, or sprawled over the floor with his textbooks and laptop. But today, on this surprisingly cozy morning, he had the gift of peace and quiet. He had coffee in his favorite Shakespeare quote mug, a good book in his lap, and a plate of warm banana bread.

He had to keep moving the plate away from Satan's mischievous paws, though the offer of a catnip mouse and an open lap were enough to save his breakfast.

So, snuggly in his cat pajamas, Sebastian cracked open his book and settled in for an adventure with new faces. Halfway through the book and just past noon, he was startled from his reading by an abrupt knocking on the front door. Forgetting about the kitten patterned pajamas he had on, along with the cat ears hoodie he'd flipped up somewhere between his second and third cup of coffee, Sebastian slid a bookmark to keep his place and set the book aside.

He didn't remember until he was opening the door to a beaming Agni _what_ exactly he was wearing.

The man didn't let him forget it either. He was _not_ cute. At least it wasn't the cat onesie...

* * *

2\. _**ADOPTION**_

* * *

"You knew my parents?" It was the first words the tiny boy had uttered since being rescued. They made the bodyguard standing in his room jump and turn to look at the last Phantomhive in his hospital bed. The way his voice sounded - so small, so hurt and so scared - made Sebastian's dead heart crack.

"I used to work for your father, yes."

"Oh." Sebastian glanced at Ciel, feeling trapped. This boy had been through hell, and he looked like it too. He was pale and sickly, horribly malnourished and hooked up to so many wires and IVs that he could barely see the child's thin limbs. "...I heard them screaming, in the fire. That officer said that they died in seconds."

The boy rolled over, as much as he could, remaining blue eyes dull beneath his unkempt bangs. "That was a lie, wasn't it?"

What was he supposed to say? Being burned alive was a horrible, painful way to go out, but could he really tell this tiny ten year old any of that?

"Please don't lie to me."

Goddamn him and his soft heart.

"Your parents died slow, screaming. They burned alive. But it's over. They can't feel the flames anymore."

"I wish mine was over, too...what are they gonna do to me? My family's rich, I'm not stupid. People will fight over that and try to steal my inheritance from me."

Sebastian turned fully to stride to the young boy's bedside, not wanting him to strain to see him any longer. He hesitated, then laid his hand over Ciel's hand. "They won't do anything to you. I won't let them. I'm going to protect you from now on, Ciel."

The boy smiled, single eye teary and he settled back into his mountain of pillows.

"I'd like that, Sebastian. It's a deal."

* * *

3\. _**WORLDS**_

* * *

"Hey Sebastian, did you know I can hold the world in my hands?"

Sebastian blinked, looking up from the frantically scribbled inventory list to stare over the top of a spider fern at Agni. "Sweetheart, that's not possible."

"Yes, it is." The pale haired man continued to water the flowers in front of him, seeming to ignore the rising frustration in his boyfriend.

"Prove it then, Mr. Incredible." Sebastian rolled his eyes, not paying Agni any mind as he turned his attention back to doing inventory - at least that was the plan, right up until Agni gently cupped his face, lifting his head so he had to stare up at the other man.

"Agni."

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"Proving what I said."

"What? But tha - oh." Sebastian huffed, not quite able to keep his face from flushing. God, Agni always knew what to say, didn't he? "I have a reputation, y'know."

Agni just laughed and leaned in to kiss him.

* * *

4\. _**BE MERRY**_

* * *

"So, do you like her?"

Sebastian was too busy crying on the floor to answer Grell. They just laughed, poking their _cat_ atonic friend in the side where he lay on the ground, surrounded by wrapping paper and opened presents.

"I love her!" Sebastian wriggled his fingers, watching as a tiny kitten went after his hand like a predator on a mission. A very clumsy one. She kept missing and falling over; her stubby little legs weren't quite up to par with her bloodthirsty instincts yet. She was a ragdoll cat, and would grow up to be lanky and long if his experience was right. "Thank you, Grell."

He sat up, scooping his little furry demon into his lap. She meowed indignantly, then returned to attacking his offending hands. Sebastian laughed, not even caring when those tiny teeth sank into the fleshy parts of his hand. "You're a little satan, aren't you? Are you gonna kill everyone on your path to world domination? Look at that face, of course you are!"

Sebastian cooed to the kitten, ignoring the way his friends laughed at him for the mushy baby talk. He couldn't help it. He had always loved cats, but had never actually had one before. And now Grell had gifted him this little grey and black ragdoll who had stolen his heart in seconds flat.

Picking the tiny fluffball up to look at her little devilish face, mischief in her yellow eyes, he grinned at her. What an adventure they were going to have.

"My little _Satan_."

* * *

5\. _**HOME**_

* * *

Ciel flipped to the next page of his textbook, ignoring Satan as she lazily batted at his hand. He was used to the cat's antics of distracting him when he was studying. There came an impatient meow, then the feline promptly sat down on his notebook.

"I need that." He poked her with his pencil, which she only whacked with her paw, meowing again. "I'm not giving you attention."

And she was laying down. Wonderful. Well, he might as well go get a snack while Satan chewed on his AP History notes. He didn't really need those anyway. Getting up from his bed and wandering out into the main part of the apartment, Ciel could hear Sebastian and Agni talking. Sounded like they were joking about something. Wasn't it inventory day? Hm.

He went straight into the kitchen, hunting down a yoghurt and a bag of chips before he went to retreat back to his pointless studying. As he stepped out of the kitchen, he could see Agni leaning over the dining table, over a blushing Sebastian. They kissed, both of them smiling softly and murmuring something even softer to each other.

Ciel paused, watching. Witnessing his legal guardian - who was more of a father to him than his real one - finally being happy and open with someone made him feel warm, safe. Like he could leave for college knowing someone would take care of Sebastian when he was gone. Agni was so, so good for Sebastian, for this family.

"Mow?" Satan had, apparently, followed him, now circling his legs and looking at him with disdain. He knelt down to quiet her, juggling his snacks and running his free hand down her back.

"Now this feels like a home." He whispered to her as Sebastian and Agni's laughter echoed through the apartment.


End file.
